Major League Freak Out #3

Here I am again. 2:45 am. Awake. No, I don’t think it is menopause, nor a panic attack. I think I am just nervous about heading out. For the past 1.5 weeks we have been lounging around my aunt and uncles beautiful home. We are spread out over the dining room table, the kitchen table, the sun porch, the laundry room, the bathrooms, the bedrooms – heck, our bikes and helmets are all in the garage. We have moved in.

The boys have ridden around the park and know a variety of ways to get to the playground. We have been to family night at Baskin Robbins two times, the public library on 7th street once. All three guys got their haircut at the same barber shop my grandfather use to go to. 12 bucks a head. The CFO was not happy. I have been to Schnucks (the grocery store) so many times I know my way around and even have a Loyalty Card.

We were in Peoria at the Minor League Baseball game Wednesday night watching the Cedar Rapid (that is in Iowa, folks) Kernels play the Peoria Chiefs. Words I am amazed I heard out of my 12 year old mouth, “Dad, can we please, please, please go to Cedar Rapids to watch the next game?”

And tonight we were at a Bluegrass Festival in New Salem with my other Aunt and Uncle on a perfect late summer evening night. Bluegrass Gospel. Who knew there were so many songs about Calvery and The Old Cross? Jesus is everywhere here in the US of A.

And now we are leaving. Again.

I feel like a truck driver.

Evan has been making soups and freezing them in anticipation of the remote national parks we will be in and the lack of reasonably priced groceries. Tomorrow I have some pumpkin breads to make. I know this is ridiculous but after having read Stephen Ambrose’s Undaunted Courage and seeing the first half of Ken Burn’s Lewis and Clark it seems like we are preparing our 30’ flat bottom boat for our own trip. I gotta remember to load on the barrel of whiskey to make sure we can give all our men their daily ration of 1 dram a piece. Maybe that is what I need to get back to sleep.

Sunday we drop mom at the airport in St Louis and head to Topeka, then on to Boulder then to Wyoming.

That is it!

I am freaking out because we are going to Wyoming.

The name sounds like what it is. Far away. Wind swept. Whyyyy? Ohhhhhh! Miiiing! Lonesome. I know in my rational state that all will be well. We will be in the RV for the next 2 weeks solid and then be in Minneapolis again staying with friends.

That is another cause of my angst. It isn’t just the thought of Wyoming it is knowing we will be in the RV for two weeks straight. Will I have to actually use the toilet in the RV this time? So far I have been able to avoid it.

Relax Wendy. All will be well. Yoga breath.

Nope, that didn’t work.

Maybe a few more yoga breaths.

Fill the lungs. Slowly release the breath.

A quiet mind.

That is what I need.

How do you get a quiet mind at 3:08 in the morning?

Is it possible to freak out about your inability to quiet your mind?

Sometimes I fantasize about a partial lobotomy to remove my anxiety lobe. Maybe there is a kit I can get somewhere on line. A DIY Lobotomy Kit availble on Ebay.

Did Meriwether Lewis ever freak out? With a goofy first name like that, I am sure he did. The Lewis and Clark scholars say he was also bi-polar which would account for the number of lapses in his journal. But he was driven. And now I am thinking, “I am just having a Meriwether moment.”

I need to head back to bed and think about transferring all my anxieties to little puffy white clouds and have them float away.

Yoga Breaths. Shots of whiskey. A partial lobotomy. Puffy clouds.

Goodnight Meriwether.