Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude – malicious joy in the misfortunes of others," 1922, from Ger., lit. "damage-joy," from schaden "damage, harm, injury" + freude, from O.H.G. frewida "joy," from fro "happy," literally "hopping for joy."

I love this word. I love the naughty, guilty pleasure I get when I feel a pang of schadenfreude. Perhaps you will feel this way after you read the following. But please know, I am laughing. Don’t feel guilty! You have my complete blessing.

So there we are camped in the Wal*mart parking lot…again -- this time in Grand Forks, North Dakota.

This is a familiar parking lot. We stayed here 12 days before on the way up to Churchill, Manitoba and we liked the neighborhood so much we thought we would drop by on the return trip. Splashers of the South Seas Water Park is just down the street. The Red Lobster sign shines a nice red glow in the front window of the RV. And the trees that are planted in the parking lot in an attempt to make it not look like the vast parking lot that it really is, are skinny and losing their leaves but appreciated.

Parking Lot, Sweet Parking Lot (if I knew how to embroider, that’s what I’d be putting on one of our pillows).

After a nice swim at Splashers, a dinner of left-over’s and an exciting game of Clue we are all snuggled into our beds.

Then at 3 AM a loud beating of hands against the side of the RV wakes us all up.
Funny how we are thousands of years from cavemen but our responses are programmed just the same.

Evan wakes up yelling, “Get out of here!” I wake up silently thinking to myself, “If we hide, they will go away.” We hear the drunken voices and laughter of teenagers as they continue their weaving path across the parking lot. We are fine.

Simon makes his way into our bed 2 minutes later, “What was that noise? I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?” We move over.

Josh makes his way back 4 minutes later, “The tree branches look like a hand and it’s scratching against the window.” We move over again.

If we all sleep on our sides we fit, but nobody sleeps.

I contort my body so I can climb out of there.

Are we seeing the humor in this people? We have a small double bed in the back of an RV with a family of four all sleeping together in the Wal*mart Parking lot in Grand Forks, North Dakota for god sakes! It is 3 am and I am in my fashionable flannel Target gnome pajamas crawling through arms and legs and twisted blankets in a room no bigger than the bed.

I make my way to the front of the RV to sleep in Simon’s pull-out couch bed in order to go back to sleep.

Sleep. Ya, right. 3 AM. Awakened by hooligans. Who am I kidding? I am not sleeping. I am lying in the RV making lists of what to worry about next.

1. Carbon monoxide poisoning. We will be found by the Wal*mart greeter three days from now;
2. It is cold outside. The gray and black water it the RV holding tank will freeze, the pipes will burst and an ugly stinky rain will pour down around the RV;
3. We run out of propane and we freeze to death;
4. The gang of skinny, pimply-faced Grand Forks teenagers returns to finish the job they started;
5, Josh and Simon are scared for life due to RV trip, never get jobs, live at home forever hating us the whole time;
6. Even worse -- Josh and Simon love being home schooled and this is my life forever.

I hear the tree hand that Josh mentioned. Yep, it is scary. I peek through the window to make sure the bad guys have left. Nothing out there but a vacant parking lot. I put my cell phone and keys right next to me as I sleep so I am ready for a quick get away.

I make a mental note to explore over-the-counter, organic, non-addictive sleeping aid options.

I fall asleep.