The Present

I will not obsess that we have not had a home for five months.

I will not dwell on the fact that neither Evan nor I have jobs.

I will not worry that Simon is not doing second grade work, has yet to lose a tooth at close to 8 years old, and refuses to get his hair cut.

I will not fret that we have no real doctors.

I will not give a rat’s ass that I dress like a woman who has no fashion sense, showers every other day, and hasn’t had a proper hair cut in 6 months.

I will trust that all this will pass and that when we decide to, we will be back amongst society, find jobs, a house, a garden, matching clothes, doctor’s, and start bathing regularly.

What I will do now is be aware and wallow in life’s goofiness, its teaching moments, and being together with my family knowing that all will be well. This trip isn’t about having enough courage it is about trust.

Small moments are what make up a life. This is it. Life is short and it can change quickly.

Here are some of my moments over the past few days:

The word ennui. Isn’t is weird how a word you don’t really use comes up, you discuss it and next thing you know it starts popping up all over the place. The word first came up in a book Julia shared with us in Minnesota, where a child dies of a horrible case of ennui. It came up again while listening to the Cole Porter song “Anything Goes”, and then in the book Goonie Bird Greene by Lois Lowry. Goonie Bird is an eccentric seven year old girl and what she does to ward off a dreaded case of ennui is to always wear mismatching socks. We embrace this whole heartedly.

Shopping at Trader Joe’s in Bend, Oregon in anticipation of camping the next four nights and trying their samples. A couple of times.

Eating pie at the Starlight Café in Vale, Oregon.

An early morning walk with Josh through the ghetto of sad trailers in Vale and discussing the importance of respecting all people – including poor people. The conversation changes to include gangster rap music, hoodies, sunglasses, and how while we are just passing through the RV/trailer part of our lives, some other people don’t have the luxury of choices.

Two nights ago we drove through a snowstorm south of Bend in the dark. I was behind the wheel. Josh was nervous and leaned over to me and commented that he feels more confident when I drive and, “how ironic it is Mom. Dad is the more calm, matter of fact one and you are the wild and crazy one, but when you drive, you reverse roles.” He noticed.

Last night at the Big Pine RV Park in Crescent, Oregon we were very pleasantly surprised to find a lovely warm large and clean bath house. A cozy recreation room separated the men’s from the women’s showers. Josh and I packed up our shower kits and clean pajamas and headed over in the dark, through the snow, under a clear sky full of incredible stars. Simon came with us as our entertainment. He promised jokes. It turned into a joke contest. Since Josh and I couldn’t hear each other, Simon was the translator running back and forth between the showers telling us each others latest entry in the competition. The winner? Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

This morning I woke up to Simon (who had crawled into our bed at some point in the wee hours of the night) asking me, “Mom, do you want to know what my favorite things are?” “Why no, why don’t you tell me,” I replied in a gravely voice. “Eating and sleeping,” he said. “Oh I bet there are some more,” I prodded. “Oh ya, rock climbing, bike riding, my birthday and cuddling!”, he yelled, as he gave me a full body cuddle.

Today we drove to Crater Lake National Park in Oregon. Only the south entrance is open after October. They have already received close to 5 feet of snow. They have over 15,000 visitors a year. Today we were it. We took a 2 mile gorgeous hike out to Destination Point on snow shoes. On the way back we stopped midway to break off huge icicles and decided they needed a bit of sugar. We stopped again to listen to the quiet. I don’t ever remember hearing nothing for so long.

Right now we are tucked in for the night at Jo’s Motel, RV Park and Organic Grocery Store in Fort Klamath, Oregon. We are listening to Ella Fitzgerald while I write this at the table in the RV. Simon is sitting in the back having some alone time with his container of stuffed animals. Evan is editing the photos from today. Josh is sitting across from me working on a homework assignment and is quietly singing along to Ella.

To quote some sappy Holly Hobbie-esque poem that is, however, true…

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.